Storytime! The Toe-Licking Lamb

Gather around, and let me tell you a story from ages past, one that has been passed down my family for generations and is cherished beyond all others.

And by ages past I mean it happened last year, by passed down in my family I mean I think my dad made a Facebook post about it when it happened, and by cherished beyond all others I mean it never fails to either make people laugh or weird them out when they hear it.

So let's go.

It was about a year and one month ago when I left the island of Oahu for the first time since moving here, and it was a grand occasion. My We The People team had made it past states and we were off to DC to compete in the Nationals.

But we would not only be debating and discussing constitutional topics in front of judges, we would also get to be tourists. Part of our touristy experience (other than feeling cold because we were from Hawaii, and as people kept putting it, it was "unseasonably chilly") was a trip to Mount Vernon where we could marvel at George Washington's house and lands and the beautiful river whose name I don't remember, but it was really pretty.

Also, there were lambs living there, as part of the farm. Cute and adorable, sitting behind a fence with their sheep parents, the lambs didn't fail to inspire "aw's" and little other noises of girly happiness when faced with a cute creature.

Then one of the little lambs decided it would exercise its right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness and jumped the fence. Once over the fence, it didn't run away, it merely stood there, as if it were to seek entertainment from us. My dear friend Josi and I were smitten, and went to go look and maybe even play with it without a fence in our way.

The lamb allowed us to get close, and received our affection in what I suppose is the normal fashion for lambs. As in not really doing much.

But then, a little later, as we had wandered down the fence line, leaving the lamb to the mercy of some little children who were also smitten with the adorable little beast, I was startled to feel something. It felt strange, like nothing I had ever felt before in my life, and I won't seek to describe it here, partly because I don't really remember, and also because what I do remember is really weird and I don't have the words to describe it. It was weird.

I looked down to figure out what the heck was going on with my toes (for some reason I had the thought that maybe they had just gone completely numb from the "unseasonably chilly" weather - it was really cold) and I discovered that the little lamb was LICKING my TOES.

That's right. Standing in Mount Vernon, celebrating the life of George Washington, and a lamb decides it would be great to lick my toes.

I did what any sane human being would do and shrieked, moving away from the lamb while my father and Josi and her father laughed. I moved a little further away, blushing furiously (looking back, it's a lot more funny now that I'm not actually being laughed at, but with) and tried to stay away from the lamb.

But the lamb wouldn't have it, and moved to lick my toes again, determined to taste me? I don't really know what that lamb wanted, but it really liked my toes. This went on for a good five minutes until the lamb got bored and hopped back inside the fence.

We finished looking around Mount Vernon, and slowly made our way back to the bus, telling our story to people, and getting a general good laugh out of it, although we were also faced with a good deal of confusion, none of which has been cleared up in the year and a month since this incident. 

I don't think I will ever fully understand what was happening that day. All I know is that a little lamb hopped a fence and decided to lick my toes, and then decided to hop back behind the fence. And it wasn't a bad thing, and it wasn't a good thing, but it just happened, and life went on.

Whatever that means. There was a lamb licking my toes.