Why Watching Movies on a Date is a Bad Idea

Well, look at that. It's your date night. Whatever are you going to do? If you're like most of the people I know, you are significantly low on cash, and there's probably not a lot of cheap entertainment around for you to easily get to.

Hey, you can totally go over to your house and watch a movie, right? That's cheap. That's fun. Rent a new blockbuster or watch an old classic. Whatever floats your boat. There's no way this can possibly go wrong, barring an unforeseen power outage.

Stop right there. You might want to rethink your game plan for your date. Sure, watching movies is fun and cheap and rather enjoyable to do as a couple, but have you considered the drawbacks?

Did you think about the fact that his arm is going to go almost completely numb by the end of the movie? Or, if you forego the leaning-on-each-other method of couple movie watching, if you're holding hands, someone's hand is going to lose all feeling?

That's just the first problem of watching a movie as a couple. Both of you cannot be in complete happiness and comfort. I'm pretty sure that's breaking a law of dating physics. Someone must feel physical pain. My boyfriend and I are movie aficionados, and so we watch a lot of them together. So far, I've made his arm go numb, he's made my hand go numb, his arm and my hand went numb, I've pulled my shoulder, and also gotten a crick in my neck.

I don't even know how we manage to do that much damage to each other just be sitting next to each other. It doesn't make sense.

Of course, you can sometimes be lucky enough to escape physical pain (easy enough. just don't hold hands or use his shoulder as a pillow. no pain if you're not touching.) Of course, in escaping physical pain, we must of course have other problems occur.

True story.

I was at my boyfriend's house. We were going to watch the Two Towers. About 5 minutes into the movie, his mom comes into the living room where we were watching it.
"I'm going to the emergency room."
We stare at her. She doesn't really look in any state to go to the emergency room.
"I cut my finger slicing watermelon and it won't stop bleeding."
Ok. That makes more sense. So she leaves, and for the next half hour, our watching is interrupted by her constantly texting her son to remind him of all the stuff he should do.
It eventually dies down, and we get back to acting like the nerds we are, geeking out over Lord of the Rings.
About halfway through the movie, his grandparents and little sister come in, having just gotten back from watching Brave. His grandmother rushes over to him.
"Where is your mother?"
"Oh, she's in the emergency room."
At which his grandmother starts freaking out. I try to reassure her.
"She just cut her finger. She'll be fine."
I don't think she even heard me or noticed my presence, as she continued to be worried, so my boyfriend repeated what I said, and she calmed down- slightly.
After consulting with her husband, she decided she would take the little sister and drive to the emergency room to be with her daughter. So they all left, not even five minutes after arriving back home.
About twenty minutes later, they all return home. The cut finger is butterfly bandaged, and all is peaceful. For a moment. The little sister walks into the living room.
"What are you watching?"
awkward pause. "Two Towers."
"This doesn't look like Lord of the Rings to me."
My boyfriend and I look at each other. We can't think of anything that screams Lord of the Rings more than the Battle of Helm's Deep.
We share our candy with the little sister, and eventually the movie ends and all is well.

Look at the adventure just watching a movie was.

Also a true story.

When my friend's parents were dating, he invited her over to watch a movie at his apartment. The movie was Wait Until Dark.
According to the description by my friend, this is an extremely dark and intense and creepy movie.
Anyway, they are watching this movie. Alone. In the dark.
They reach the climax, where the bad guy (who had been stabbed at this point) leaps out of the darkness towards the main character.
The roommate walks in. They don't notice. So, like a good roommate, he takes advantage of this moment.
He jumps out at the couple sitting on the couch.
My friend's dad throws her mom off the couch and then proceeds to throw himself to the floor. Presumably the roommate is laughing his head off.
To this day, the dad insists he was 'protecting' her mom... while she insists he was getting her out of his way.

See what happens when you watch movies? Nothing good. Unless, of course, you wish to have stories to tell and laugh at and share for posterity. So maybe then going out on movie dates isn't a bad idea.