Just real quick here

I got through all my classes today. Yay!

I only have a few hours to finish getting ready before I leave for the airport and Utah and several aunts I haven't seen in years (one never, lookin at you Tat) and my bestie who I haven't seen in two years and I get to get off this island which I haven't done in a year.

So I'm really good at keeping track of time. Apparently.

If you want updates, go and follow me on Twitter and Instagram and Facebook (Twitter would probably honestly be the best) and I'll try and tell you all the wonderful stories I'm sure I'll have once I get back. I might even give you a post while I'm in Utah with Brit just for the fun of it, but we'll see how that goes.

I luff you all, thanks so much for going on this Blogging Every Day in April with me. It's been fun.

Stay fabulous.

Almost a wrap-up

It's almost the end of April. Actually, tomorrow is the last day of April. That being said, I want to wrap up the BEDA posts today, mostly because tomorrow will be very very crazy, between getting to my classes in the morning to finishing up packing (starting packing?) that afternoon so I can get on a plane that evening and fly to the mainland overnight and get there tomorrow morning.

So I wanted to wrap this up. This has been quite an experience for me, now that I sit back and take some time to think about it. A lot has happened this month of blogging every day, and I've learned a lot.

One thing I've learned, and I shouldn't be surprised, but I am, is that I actually had enough content to make a blog post every single day. I mean, it wasn't necessarily the best/most polished blog post, but it was a blog post. Every day. With really the only overlap in topics being that I apparently talked about the weather a lot. But you know what else? I had more to write. I made a little bitty list of things I wanted to write, you know, posts that would require a little forethought before sitting down and typing them up. I'll write those up sometime in the near future, but yeah. But it was my life, the little everyday things and stories that make up a part of humanity, that mostly drove the blog posts here.

I learned that not every single post I write has to be carefully thought out and planned and polished and perfect. Especially when I have to write a blog post every single day, there's just no way I can. I'm a busy person. I actually do have a life of sorts.

I saw, and was surprised (again, something that shouldn't have surprised me) that as I got more consistent in my posting and produced content every single day, that my readership grew. Not a lot. I wouldn't even call it growth, necessarily. I still got maybe the same average views per post, but with more posts, and consistent posting, that started adding up. And my average reads per post started growing, just a little bit as well. A lesson I should do well to remember: people will come with content. I need to remember to keep creating things.

I learned that I write well with a schedule. I used to think that I don't really do well with deadlines, especially when it come to writing things creatively. Just because that's something I tend to squeeze in the cracks of my life, in between classes and work and homework and friends and sometimes sleep. But I also know if I want something enough, I will stop at almost nothing to get what I want. If that means making a little more time to push out a blog post during the day, or just figuring out how to plan my time so that I can achieve that, I will. If I want it enough, I will get it.

That being said, I want to come up with a schedule for this blog. It will certainly maintain flexibility, depending on life and things and such, but I'll certainly stick to it as best I can. This is something you guys, my wonderful readers, can help me with. How much do you want to hear from me? Twice, three times, a week? Every day? Every day except weekends? (Okay, I'm gonna go ahead and say I will be taking Sunday off from posting, just because I do want to have at least one day a week to not deal with that. Possibly Saturday as well, but we'll see how that goes). And also, just because I might be posting things during the week doesn't mean that I won't occasionally post something on the weekend. That's what the flexibility is for. I want to write often, but not every single day.

I learned how much this blog means to me. How much you guys mean to me, my readers. My wonderful readers. I know my blog is sometimes ridiculous and silly and fun but then it also sometimes gets serious or I get angry but you guys just take that in stride and read it anyway. I've received nothing but positive feedback from this. (And, well, I mean, the occasional worried questions from my mother, but that's nothing out of the ordinary.) This blog, what I want to do with it, is represent my life, and tell my story. Part of my story is how I feel about things, it's about things that I do or things that happen to me or poems that I write or things that I've created that I want to share. This blog is me, putting myself, my hopes and dreams and things out there for you all to look at and read and judge.

How I haven't received flack for that yet is somewhat beyond me. I guess there is a good thing to the nonexistent comment base I have. But I really don't mind if you guys comment on my posts, you guys. I would love it a lot if you guys shared my posts, for your friends and family to read. Don't think you have to keep it secret or hidden away. I don't mind. Really. Introduce yourself to me. Tell me your stories. I want to hear them. I want you to be involved. I want to meet your friends.

And then maybe some of you want to get to know me outside of this blog. Well, lucky you, I exist on various social networking sites.
You can look me up on Facebook, and there's a little button on my profile that says "follow". You click on that, and you'll see those updates I'm posting to the public. Just look for Carina Aldrich.
I also have a Twitter, and you can follow that, my handle is @carinahhh_ Again, hit that follow button.
And to go with that, I also have an Instagram, and sometimes I even post pictures on it. That handle is @carinahhhh

Why all the H's? That's a story for another time, children. But for now, I think that's enough of wrapping up and shameless self-advertising. I hope to see some of you soon.

Luff you all.

Fangirl

So, it has recently come to my attention that there is a need for me to make this post. So I spent the last few days preparing it. That being said, there is far too much for me to understand on my own, much less explain to you guys.

But this is how it started. I was texting my friend's boyfriend, and we were playing around. He sent me something that got me really excited and I texted him back something like "asdfjkl; AAAAHHHH YES WHAT I CAN'T EVEN" and then he just got really confused and didn't understand me. It was then I realized that I actually do have regular interactions with people who don't speak Internet and Fangirl with nearly as much as I and my normal friends do. (hehehehe normal friends. what are those again?)

So this post is for me to explain what it is like being a fangirl, and hopefully you will come away with a better understanding of most of the population of the Internet. If nothing else, you will recognize when your friends are being fangirls, and be able to react appropriately.

But first, let me show you what it's like to be a fangirl. (credit to whoever created these, I didn't make them):

This is our life. I mean, not totally, cuz we still have to function in normal society, but THIS IS OUR LIFE. And it applies to all fandoms, whether it be Potterheads or Whovians or Directioners or Sherlockians or Seahorses or Danosaurs or Beliebers or Whedonites or any fandom, it doesn't matter. 

So, now you're all looking at me confused, and also slightly worried, because I'm coming off as slightly insane, which you should know by now is my normal state of being. 

I looked back at my life recently and I realized that I was never really a fangirl until about a year ago, when the Avengers came out. And then I died and started this journey and I've learned a lot, which you should all know as well. I'll start out by explaining some simple terms. 

Fandom: Like how kingdoms worked, only instead of being limited by geographical areas, fandoms are comprised of the fans of a certain person or thing. People who like Harry Potter are Potterheads, Whovians like Doctor Who, Directioners like One Direction, Seahorses like the Lizzie Bennet Diaries, you get my drift. Please note there is a difference between being a fan of something and being part of the fandom. It's slight, but it's there. 

Feels: feelings. Typically used when someone is overwhelmed with feelings (either good or bad) and they'll run around shouting OW MY FEELS or RIGHT IN THE FEELS which generally denotes an excess of feelings and emotions. When you encounter someone who is overwhelmed by feels, please step back and do not engage unless you are ready to deal with everything. They might possibly just be sitting curled in the fetal position sobbing, but the best thing to do is just agree with them and let them recover. 

Fanfiction: also shortened to fanfic or just fic, this is writing that fans do about their fandom. 

Ship/shipping: a verb used when someone wants two people to be in a relationSHIP. When you ship someone, you want them to be together. Also with shipping comes crazy ship names. If you really like Tony Stark and Pepper Potts being a thing, their ship name is Pepperony. (is that not the cutest ship name ever?) Basically comprised of smashing their names together, shippers tend to get very devoted and vocal about their couples getting/staying together. Note shipping is generally used for romantic relationships, but is also occasionally used for bromances, but only when denoted as such. 

And with shipping comes slash and femslash: slash is the pairing of two guys, and femslash is the pairing of two girls. I originally thought slash was just same gender pairs, but apparently there's a difference to be denoted. So if you hear about someone who was reading a slash fic, you know what you're in for. 

OTP: one true pairing. This is the ship above all ships, the Titanic of all your feelings, in both that it's your biggest ship and also that it usually crashes and dies because reasons. Never ever EVER insult a fangirl's OTP. Your throat will be in immediate danger of getting ripped out. 

Canon: This is when a ship is endorsed by the writers of the book/show/movie. It shows up and is a thing. Hinny (Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley) is canon in the books and movies. Also is Pepperony and Dizzie (Darcy and Lizzie). 

Noncanon: This is when your ship is not endorsed outright by the writers. Dramione (Draco and Hermione) is a good example of this. As is Clintasha (Clint Barton and Natasha Romanoff). Noncanon ships either live in the hope that they will become canon (see Clintasha, there's plenty of opportunities for that to develop in more movies) or try to insist it was there the whole time (Wolfstar, I'm looking at you) or just roll with the fact that it's not canon and live with it. 

ASDFJKL; or alternatively asdfjkl;: This is when someone pretty much just spazzes on their keyboard, generally because feels. also see a;woiehgiu vbghu;ahitoe;najvnjw or AEORITHNWOB;JITEONABEJIO;NTABHINO; or zxdbytiowap. These are all pretty much the same thing. 

*flail: This is typed when either a fangirl is literally flailing her arms in real life or unable to do so but she/he really wants to. (I know I'm using mostly feminine pronouns for this, but fangirls can be both sexes). Sometimes accompanied by squealing. This is usually a good thing, but hyperexcitment yes. 

I can't even: This is short for I can't even handle my feelings, which is also sometimes shortened to I can't, and I've even seen just i being used, it's when the feels are too much you can't even spaz on a keyboard. 

Nyugh, ugh, and hnng: These are all inarticulate noises people make when feels. They're said how they're spelled, and yeah. 

Because reasons: usually said when telling why you did something relating to the fandom. Because reasons, and those reasons are usually feels. 

What even: same idea as I can't even, only you still can, you just what. Typically a more confused state than can't. 

All my feels: when all your feels have been engaged, and it's painful and wonderful and horrible and you just can't even. 

I am a dead thing: your feels have just up and murdered you. 

What is your face: usually said to a computer screen when looking at a picture of person/thing/ship you are fangirling over. 

Right in the feels: your feelings decided to punch you in the gut, usually with no warning. 

Literally sobbing: I don't think I need to explain that one. 

KEY CHANGE: this is something I think only I do, but I do fangirl over music, and there is nothing that gives me feels like a key change, so I usually die there and this is all I leave as an explanation for such. 

Fangasm: this is the internet we're talking about here. It's an explosion of nerdy joy/despair in the most innocent of terms. 

gifs: It stands for Graphics Interchange Format, and is basically pretty much pictures that do the same thing over and over again. Here's an example: http://24.media.tumblr.com/00ad20ba8a0cf88840f72d6496dd4ab7/tumblr_mlkrbvkrSr1rujt6qo1_r2_500.gif 

(LOOK AT LOUIS GIGGLING IT'S SO CUTE) 

Also, usually these things aren't in like proper capitalization and stuff, most it's in all caps or just no caps, but YOU GUYS KNOW WHAT IT MEANS WHEN SOMEONE TYPES IN ALL CAPS. 

So there you go. A bunch of stuff that fangirls say and do, so hopefully I won't have people asking me what a ship is anymore. 

Oh, but before I go, there are two rules that you and everyone must always remember when dealing with fandoms: 

Never judge a fan by their fandom(s). 

And never judge a fandom by their fans. 

In general, fandoms are close-knit communities on the internet where people make great friends and have a fun time with people with the same interests, and it's fun and international and as long as things don't get rabid, it's wonderful. 

I'm so glad I'm not in high school anymore

From Loki to the rest of Marvel to cannibalism to virgin sacrifice to the horrible lack of good sex education offered in most public schools.

That was the direction my conversation with some high school girls went last night. It was a good conversation.

But I've noticed a trend in my conversations with most kids that are still in high school.

And in it I mostly end up bemoaning the terrible state of public education in America.

Wait. Let's be real. Anytime education comes up in a conversation, I usually end up spending the rest of that conversation grousing the terrible state of public education in America.

This is just something I've been exposed to my entire life.

I grew up the daughter of a man who works in University libraries, under various different titles. My mother has always cared about and been involved in my education. I have always had the importance of a good education pounded into me. And there is nothing I really enjoy more than learning things and growing and becoming a better person through learning and sharing information and all the wonderful stuff.

But, as my dad has talked with other people in education, my elementary school principal, various teachers I've had, the topic turned always to education. It's what they were involved in, it was - is - their life. I, being my father's daughter, would sit there and listen to the grownups talk because that's a lot more exciting than playing in the corner with children usually several years younger than me. (Oldest kid problems)

So I have spent so much of my life listening to my father and other administrators and teachers talk. Probably about ten years actually understanding to a certain extent what they were saying. The gist of which tends to go somewhat like this:

There are so many problems with college students not understanding or being able to do simple things they should have learned in high school- okay, let's be real, probably middle school. Just life skills in general, they're not learning and it's not good and makes for a problem for university administrators and professors.

Oh, but the high school teachers would love to be able to teach them but they kinda have to teach to a stupid test and things and they can't teach how and what they think is necessary, but what is imposed upon them by people who think they know what kids need to know for life.

But, frankly, I just don't even know anymore. Our educational system has so many flaws it's not even funny, but there it is, being flawed, somehow putting out students who I'm surprised know how to function in society. I'm surprised I know how to function in society, sometimes.

Things I should probably have learned in school, but it wasn't in the curriculum:

The only reason I know how to make a resume is because I had a teacher in my sophomore year of high school who decided that even though it wasn't in the curriculum, she needed to teach us how to make a resume so we could function in society. Please note she did it because it was lacking in the curriculum. She was my American Literature teacher.

How to dress for a job interview? My mother. How to prep for a job interview in general: my mother. OKAY THE WHOLE PROCESS OF JOB APPLICATION I LEARNT FROM MY MOTHER.

Birth control and sex education in general: my mother/ my friends/ tv and the internet and various other media. school? only for vague anatomical drawings that no one could take seriously, much less see because the equipment in school was always on the verge of dying. Because funding schools isn't a thing. This one really gets on my nerves. Really. So many problems could be solved if people would just teach kids about sex and how it actually works and how to get birth control (you know what else would be nice? easy access to birth control) and what happens after and seriously why doesn't this get taught in school??????

How to cook and clean and do laundry and budget and set up a bank account and manage money: YEAH MY MOTHER AGAIN BECAUSE THESE ARE REALLY IMPORTANT LIFE SKILLS THAT YOU'D THINK EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE ACCESS TO, ESPECIALLY BECAUSE EVERYONE'S PARENTS AREN'T AS AWESOME AS MINE.

How to basically work a computer: my father. again, super important life skill, not taught in school.

I'm sure I have more, but I'm getting ranty and irritated and should probably stop now before I get more mad at society for not caring about education and how much it would solve so many problems if we just focused on teaching kids actual important things and life skills in school and not just that the opposite sex is icky and you shouldn't touch them. because they're totally going to listen to that anyway.

I am sunburnt.

So, you know how I spent several blog posts in the recent past complaining about the lack of sunshine and how much rain sucks and stuff?

Yeah not anymore apparently.

It was all lovely and sunshiney and beautiful yesterday. So I was laying outside on campus in the sunshine, enjoying it. For a couple hours.

Then I went to class and discovered that I had managed to sunburn myself. And it really hurts.

It's just one side of me. And it hurts.

I don't think I've said that enough.

I am in pain and it hurts.

But then hey it's sunshine and I love it. So not really? Yeah. It's great. I don't really mind. For now.

Nighttime Joy

The moon is beautiful.
The wind, soft and cool against my hot skin.
The clouds, lit by the moon, marbleize the sky like chocolate and vanilla marblezied in a cake.
I walk, breathing in the smell of the darkness.
It's sweet and intoxicating, begging me to stay and breathe more.
As I breathe, I smile, listening to sweet voices only I can hear.
I open my mouth and softly sing along, my voice blending with theirs in a beautiful medley no one will ever fully hear.
Soft at first, and sweet as honey, the notes fall from my lips, spurring another smile.
The music is in my veins, it drives me forward, it reminds me of a whole other dimension of beauty to be experienced.
Pure, ephemeral joy. I see it, feel it, smell it, hear it, and with each note leaving my throat I can taste it.
I keep walking, my notes sometimes failing because the need to breathe takes over.
I spy a person nearby and stop, cut off, biting my lip apologetically until they are out of sight.
Shy, a little scared, doubtful they will understand why I wing while I walk along.
Just like I question if they understan why I am sitting on this sidewalk, writing a poem hurriedly on my phone in the darkness.
When things are created, sometimes they are not things to be understood. Sometimes they are feelings to be shared and felt and expressed.
The moon really is beautiful.

So close....

I got a text from my bestie today. This is what it said:

ONLY ONE WEEK

All in caps, naturally. That's how we communicate best.

But then I started freaking out.

Because I remembered that in actually less than one week, I'll be in Utah. And I will be seeing my best friend who I haven't seen for two years, along with other various family members I haven't seen for longer. (In some cases, ever.)

BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I WILL FINALLY GET TO SEE MY BRITFACE IN ONE WEEK AND I CAN'T WAIT.

It will be fabulous. I will probably start crying. She will probably start crying. My mother and aunts will just be standing there awkwardly watching us both break down in the airport and we sob into each other's arms.

We've been planning this for months, it seems almost unreal that we're going to finally do it. I'm going to actually see her again. I'm going to actually get off this island and see her and it will be the best. Those few days will be the best.

I'm soooo excited. I just really want this weekend to get over with so I can go and see her. Then time just needs to stop so I can spend it all with her. I wish that was how time worked. It totally works like that, right?

Ugh, just all my happy/excited feelings. I'm going to virtually hug all of you. Luff you all. *hugs*