A Letter to Future Me

A few weeks ago I was asked if I would write a letter to future me, what I would write. So I did, and this is what came out of it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Future Me,

Hey. Hi? What’s it like over there? How is it going? Wait, don’t tell me. I’d rather figure it out as I go along. 

I hope you’re doing great. That nothing’s gone terribly wrong. 

I hope you’re still all the parts of myself that are really important. Not that maybe you’ve gotten eye surgery so you don’t have to worry about glasses anymore, or that maybe your legs have stopped being allergic to EVERYTHING (although that would be nice), but the really important parts. 

I hope you’re still sweet and kind and gentle. It’s not a bad thing, and you know it isn’t a bad thing to be so, but for some reason, (you remember) I spent a long time thinking that it was bad to be that, and that I had to be fierce and mean and sometimes justly cruel. And it hurt. I hope you haven’t gone back to thinking like that. You don’t have to be fierce and mean and rip everyone’s throats out when they don’t agree with you. You got a lot further with becoming friends with people when you were sweet and kind than when you wanted to just tease them and torture them. 

Not to say that being fierce and mean is bad. It’s sometimes good, especially when you’re standing up for the important things. Family. Friends. People. 

You can’t defend your ideals and be mean, Carina. You can only defend people like that, and only against physical threats. 

I hope you still love people. Even the ones that you want to hate. You and I have forgiven people of the most horrendous acts, and it’s okay. Nobody deserves your hate and anger. Not even you. Just let it go, and I promise it’ll get better. It’ll take time, but if you work hard enough, it’ll happen. 

Loving others makes you a lot happier than anger. No matter how righteous and justified, and yes, you can choose whether or not to stay angry. Don’t be offended by something that wasn’t meant to offend. No. You can’t do that. Don’t stay offended by something that wasn’t meant to offend. Deal with it and move on. 

Anger and hatred are poison. You can’t help people with that. You have to love them. 

And you’re gonna mess up. It’s only natural to get angry and mad and offended when people do something that just clashes with you, especially if they’re a close friend and it really is just something wrong. 

It’s okay. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to feel things. You’re- we’re- human. If all you feel is happiness and rainbows and sunshine, you need to check up on that. 

This is getting really long. I may be young and naive, and full of hopeful ideals, but I hope you proved me right and managed to live up to at least most of those ideals. I hope you still do. I hope you work hard, play fun, and create things with all your might and soul.

I love you. In as hopefully normal a way as it is a past shade of a person can love the future hope. We’ll be good. It’ll be great.

Love,

Me