Fear.

Fear.

There's a healthy dose of fear in every ounce of respect.

It's cowardly.

It's universal.

It's thrilling.

It's motivating.

It's necessary.

While searching for a topic for this blog post, I got all philosophical with a bunch of people. College professors, college students... lots of people.

And I was wondering several things, and no one knows the answers to these questions.

Why, if fear is such a necessary part of our growth and experience as human beings, does society rile and ostracize against those who feel fear?

Is fear really necessary for growth? Our purpose in life is not to be afraid, but to be happy.

Is it the fear that is necessary? Or is fear just the opposition that comes that we must overcome in order to grow and become better human beings? Would any opposition work, but more often than not it happens to be fear?

People I talked to agree that fear actually stunts societal growth, not leaving people open to change. But fear is ingrained in our society, with we, ourselves, proclaiming it in adages that says that there is a healthy dose of fear in every ounce of respect. The media motivates people with fear. Our government motivates people with fear. We follow laws we are given more often than not not because we love people and respect those laws, but because we fear the consequences that will come afterward.

Nonviolent protests tend to be more productive and longer-lasting than violent protests. Why is that? Is it because there is an element of fear removed- people are not afraid for their physical selves, leaving only the emotional/mental fear of change to overcome?

Do we like being afraid? In a culture where scaring people is funny, watching horror films is a cultural norm, and "confronting your fears" is described as the most fulfilling thing some people do, have we made feeling fear and afraid a normal part of our lives?

Why do we get mad at children who are afraid of the dark or monsters under the bed? Why did we as schoolchildren call them names, ostracize their fear and marginalize them as scaredy-cats?

Why is it okay to feel fear when it comes to asking a girl out on a date, but "irrational" to be scared of bugs?

Why are people afraid?

In the Christian religions around the world, it's a recognized tenet that "perfect love casteth out all fear" and that faith should be placed in God and not man and that everything will be okay. There's similar feelings in several other cultures, where fear is replaced with love and the world becomes better because when we're not afraid of our neighbor because we're all humans and not crazy people out to get each other the majority of the time.

But I feel like we've forgotten that. People are going around saying that we can't trust an entire people because of the actions of a few, that weapons are necessary for protection, that God has forsaken whomever the media feels irritated at today...

What are you afraid of?

An entire people, because a few extremists of their religion decided massacre was what they were supposed to do? You know that idea is stupid, to let your actions against many be decided because of the few. You thought it was stupid when in the classroom the entire class got put in trouble because of that one guy that wouldn't shut up. What makes it different now? You're letting fear dictate your actions because of the actions of a few. You're scared of a few, so we hurt the many out of our fear. What great love.

What are you afraid of?

"I need weapons, guns, whatever I can get my hands on because when (never if) someone tries to attack me I'll need to protect my family." You're scared of someone that you don't even know is out to get you, but oh, they are out to get you. When one individual exhibits these symptoms, society calls it paranoia. We're all paranoid, afraid that someone will get us and hurt us. Maybe, just maybe, no one is out to get you. Maybe before you go out and load your houses with weapons, you should just stop and look at how the media and society is manipulating you and your fears of harm against you and your family. If you want to see someone out to get you, look no further than those manipulating you and your fears for gain.

What are you afraid of ?

"God has forsaken.... (insert whatever is wrong with society today and that's why we're all going to die except for the chosen ones)." First. God is a God of all people, even the ones you don't like. And you're doing a terrible job living up to your religion condemning people because you don't agree with them. My own church recently caused a ripple with some women deciding to wear pants to church instead of skirts, and the outcry was enormous. "Jesus wants you in a dress... all liberal women wearing pants are going to go to Hell..." Death threats were made by members against the leaders of the wear pants to church movement. By members. Acting out of their fear of change and whatever other fear they had, instead of the love we claim to follow Jesus and God with and claim to recognize in all people.

What are you afraid of?

Where is the love?

We claim to want world peace, but we can't even have peace in our households. Fear dominates our society, and we do nothing. We rail against those who claim to be afraid, calling them cowards, yet the media and corporations use that fear we all hide from each other to manipulate us.

To quote the words of one of my favorite characters, "Consistency is the defense of a small mind." But there comes a point where you jump from inconsistency to hypocrisy.

And I know I've written all these words, and all these thoughts, and I would be lying if I didn't say I wasn't scared to hit the publish button on this post. I've not only touched on fear, but also on gun control, feminism, religion, and a lot of other issues because fear is everywhere, especially in hot-button issues.

About 20 or so people will read this post. I don't know how many will actually make it to the end, or what people will think of me afterwards. I've worked on this post for three days now. It's been told to me that the things that keep coming to our minds are the ones that are the most important, those ideas that need to be written down and shared. There have been posts before where I was nervous to write them and publish them, but they were important and wouldn't leave my mind, so I shared them, and you guys responded. But this post outstrips them all.

I don't understand. I don't understand fear or anything or why people manipulate us or why people are scared or why anything. I've asked several people, they don't understand. We don't know why, we just feel. I don't know how fear and the universality of humanity relate completely, but I do know they relate, and I don't know why a lot of things. I can't claim to not be manipulated by fear, or that I'm not afraid, or that I'm afraid all the time either.

All I can do is claim to be human, to have thoughts and feelings and goals and hopes and dreams and fears and nightmares, just like every. other. human. being. I get hurt. I dance, I sing, I love people. I work, I play, I bleed, I cry, I laugh, I smile. What is there inside me to fear? I'm just like you. Just a little different. Variety is the spice of life. To admit that I'm scared of you means that I'm also, just a little bit, scared of myself.

There's a story, in the Book of Mormon, that always touches me. A group of Lamanites had been converted to the gospel, and determined never to touch weapons again to hurt anyone else, not even in defense of their own lives. More Lamanites who hadn't been converted were angered, and went to war against those who had been converted. The converted Lamanites didn't fight back. They knelt and prayed, praising God even as they were struck dead with the swords of their brethren. They did nothing. Slowly, one of the warring Lamanites looked and realized that the men, women, and children he was murdering were his brethren. He put down his sword, crying, and joined those kneeling to face whatever their brethren gave them. Then another warring Lamanite stopped, putting his sword down. Then another. Then another. Then another. Eventually, when it was all over, several of the originally converted Lamanites were dead and gone. But more than double the murdered Lamanites had converted and joined their brethren, pledging never to hurt anyone ever again.

Why can't we be like that? To not fear, to just have faith and know that no matter what, even when those you consider your brethren and love are coming at you to kill you, everything will be okay? Why can't we love each other enough to try our best not to hurt each other, no matter what?

What are we afraid of?

2112

Today is 12/21/12.

I'm sure you've heard that several times today on all your social networking sites. The world hasn't ended, and we're all well and happy. Well, we'd all like to be well and happy, but we're not dying in a blaze of fiery death. I guess that counts for something.

Anyway, for fans of the band Rush, today is something else entirely.

It's a day we get to celebrate the wonder that is the song 2112.

2112. A lyrical and musical wonder created by Neil Peart, Geddy Lee, and Alex Lifeson.

I remember the first time I listened to 2112. I'm sure I'd heard it before then, but this was the first time I listened to it.

My father was driving me to an orthodontist appointment in Alabama. It took a goodly while, being the next state over, but I've always enjoyed going on long drives. Anyway, we were driving, and we were listening to Rush music, as is our wont when my mother isn't in the car. Dad put in the 2112 CD, and I listened to it.

It was somewhat of a difficult listen, as the song is 20 minutes long and the instrumental to voice ratio is rather heavy on the instrumental, which was not quite to my liking a couple years ago. But in the third section, titled "Discovery", I found myself with a wonder quite new to my ears.

I was used to hearing Geddy singing high notes, with always a touch of screech to them, and the instrumental, my entire life. (Honestly, I think the man can sing higher than I can. But I digress.)

Then, suddenly, in that section... it changed. The music changed. It became more gentle, flowing. Playful, new, hopeful. It caught my attention. The guitar was handled with delicate care, and I felt it.

Then Geddy started singing.

These are the lyrics for that section.

[not sung] "... Behind my beloved waterfall, in the little room that was hidden beneath the cave, I found it. I brushed away the dust of years, and picked it up, holding it reverently in my hands. I had no idea what it might be, but it was beautiful...
I learned to lay my fingers across the wires, and the turn the keys to make them sound differently. As I struck the wires with my other hand, I produced my first harmonious sounds and soon my own music! How different could it be from the music of the Temples! I can't wait to tell the priests about it..."

[sung]
What can this strange device be?
I touch it, it gives forth a sound
It's got wires that vibrate and give music
What can this thing be that I've found?

See how it sings like a sad heart
And joyously screams out its pain
Sounds that build high like a mountain
Or notes that fall gently like rain

I can't wait to share this new wonder
The people will all see its light
Let them all make their own music
The Priests praise my name on this night

And with that, I was sucked into the story. I listened with horror as the man went before the priests, and was most terribly rejected. The words cut me to the very core.

I know it's most unusual
To come before you so
But I've found an ancient miracle
I thought that you should know
Listen to my music
And hear what it can do
There's something here that's as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

Yes, we know, it's nothing new
It's just a waste of time
We have no need for ancient ways
The world is doing fine
Another toy will help destroy
The elder race of man
Forget about your silly whim
It doesn't fit the plan

I can't believe you're saying
These things just can't be true
Our world could use this beauty
Just think what we might do
Listen to my music
Hear what it can do
There's something here as strong as life
I know that it will reach you

Don't annoy us further!
We have our work to do
Just think about the average
What use have they for you?
Another toy will help destroy
The elder race of man
Forget about your silly whim
It doesn't fit the plan!

Listening to those heartfelt pleas, I wanted to cry out, "I feel them, I feel it! It reaches me, I know it, this thing, this music you make is most surely beautiful!"
But those nasty, controlling, power-hungry priests couldn't relinquish control, not even to enjoy one moment of simple beauty.

The song continues, ending sadly as the man gets depressed as he realizes the dystopia he lives in, dies, and then even that dystopia is destroyed and taken over by that elder race of man the priests were ravaging against.

But those words.... listen to my music. Hear what it can do. There's something here as strong as life, I know that it will reach you.

Listen. It's strong as, strong as life. I know it will reach you.

Read the words I write. See what they can do. There's something there as strong as life, I know that it will reach you.

Look at the art I create. See what it can do. There's something there, strong as life, I know that it will reach you.

Look. Read. Listen, listen, don't you see? I've created something, something beautiful, something that can help the world. I know it can, I know it can reach you. I want to share it with you, come look. Think of all the good that can be done with this, it's beautiful and lovely. Don't you feel it?

It's a waste of time? Yo-you're fine without it? It... this... doesn't fit your plan? You... you don't want to see what I've created? But... but... there's no use for me, no use for what I've done? My work, this beauty, my art... a silly whim?

This music, this video, this painting, this writing, all this, all this.... is of no use to you? But... don't you feel it? Can't you see, don't you hear, are you even human? Can you not recognize what I do? Don't you feel it? I feel it, I see it, I live in a world surrounded by it and it amazes me. I've put my heart and soul into this... can you not feel that? I know it can reach you, I know it can, it must!

I... I can't believe you're saying... those things... they can't be true. Our world could use this beauty! Just think... think what we might do! Listen, listen to my music.

Read, read my words.

See what they can do.

There's something here... it's as strong as life...

I know that it will reach you.

Just... just... let it in.

Look a little differently. It's not hard. It's there.

See how it sings, like a sad heart. Joyously, screaming out its pain. Sounds, words, colors, that build high, like a mountain. Or notes, letters, strokes, that fall, gently, like rain.

I can't wait to share this wonder. The people will all see its light. Let them all make their own music! Let them all write their own stories! Let them all create their own art!

There's something here that's as strong as life.

I know that it will reach you.

Vacation and Videos

Well, finals are finally over. The semester is done, and I'm fairly sure I didn't bomb any of my classes (glory be and hallelujah).

My grandparents flew over to Hawaii to join me and my family for a lovely vacation we're having right now.

I hope to be posting a little more because, well, I'm on vacation, so I have more time in between having fun.

Anyway, for my first of the promised vacation posts, I thought I would share my final project my group and I made for our Intro to Film Art class.

It's titled I Am Not a Mormon, and showcases BYU-Hawaii's Student Body President, Mustapha El Akkari. Who is not a Mormon, but is a Muslim.

I should apologize for the poor quality of the feed, but... we were working with the cameras the school had for us to work with.

Anyway, without further ado, and with great pride in my groupmates, here is our video.

The End is Near

"Sons of Gondor! Of Rohan! My brothers. I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me. A day may come when the courage of Men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the Age of Men comes crashing down, but it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!"

I have seen this quote floating around my Twitter and Facebook this past week, for mainly two reasons.

1) Everyone's going on a LoTR marathon before the Hobbit comes out on Thursday. (guess who's got midnight premiere tickets??? meeeeeeee :D )
2) Finals are this week. Or last week. One of those weeks, depending on where you go to school.

And nothing gets people more motivated to do something grand than to imagine Aragorn on his horse giving a battle speech. I mean, look at this.

If that doesn't make you feel like you can go and defeat your finals, I don't know what will. 

I sort of feel like at regular intervals during finals this week, people should stand right outside the testing center and give this speech to everyone entering. Of course, that someone would have to not have their own finals to take, so I just don't see that happening. 

This semester is almost over. I have four and a half days left and counting. It has been wonderful and fantastic. I feel like I've grown a lot, not just intellectually, but also as a person. I've made beautiful friends and had great teachers. If I didn't have to take these finals, this semester would be perfect. 

But alas, for some reason people feel that knowledge needs to be tested and measured by tests, because everyone learns things that can be measured by a test. However they wish it. 

I'll write a more comprehensive (and gushing) post about my semester after finals (that is my life. everything has to wait till after finals). I know I haven't posted in a while, and I'm sorry, but you know... finals. You are all wonderful and fantastic and I'll get back to entertaining you soon! Survive your finals, and if you don't have finals, be grateful. I'll leave and get back to seriously considering studying for my finals.